No News and No Clothes

I've asked a couple of teachers at my old school about the missing administrator and there continues to be no news. One teacher hypothesizes that it is part of the conspiracy to privatize schooling. I think it's part of the conspiracy to keep poor black and Latino kids lacking in education.

No, I'm not kidding.

Anyway, in thinking about the lack of information in regards to the disappeared administrator, I was reminded of the story The Emperor's New Clothes. The district seems to like that approach - pretend nothing's wrong and it won't be! The clothes are lovely! What incredible tailors!

The Emperor's New Clothes is, incidentally, a part of the third grade reading curriculum. If you have read the story, you may agree with me that this was a silly choice for third grade. What is the outcome of the story? The emperor gets scammed because he wants to believe that he's special, and no one wants to be the voice of opposition, so he ends up walking naked in a parade, while a little child is the only one willing to state the obvious, "The Emperor's naked!"

Can anyone guess what the problem is? Remember, third graders are about eight years old, sometimes nine. When the word "naked" comes up, there is a unanimous reaction. Every child in the room says "Naked?!? Gross!" Then 90% of them fall out of their chairs. They just fall out of their chairs because it's too much for them. Most of the class ends up laughing, repeating it over and over: "Naked! Naked! Naked! They say naked in this story!" It is impossible to get them back on track. Especially when the particular edition of the story features a back view of the emperor: "Look at his naked bootie, yuck!" I would have skipped the whole story if I had been allowed.

Maybe they should have people who work with real children choose the stories. And the spelling lists! On one spelling list, we had the word "hoe." It went along with "toe" and other long o words. If you don't know why the word "hoe" (it's the pronunciation, not the spelling) shouldn't be on a third grade spelling list... ask your kids. You'll be surprised at the vocabulary they shouldn't know.

Blue hair:

Comments

dkzody said…

Who knew that in a few years we would be living with just such an emperor, but no one is as smart as that little boy. Or, no one pays attention.

5:58 PM

Volunteers

I had some of the most overqualified volunteers ever in my third grade class. This may have had something to do with the fact that I shamelessly begged my friends to help in any way possible. I think there were a few friends who I asked to come as soon as I met them, before I was entirely sure of their names. Some of my volunteers included: -Someone with an MFA helping kids read -a PhD candidate in chemical engineering from Stanford helping with math -a PhD candidate in civil engineering from Cal helping with math -several PhD candidates in engineering from Cal teaching about construction (several years in a row) and helping with a field trip -my extremely talented brother bringing his drums several times -a friend from Pixar who got us tours three different years, once when they were no longer giving tours - and came to the class to sign the kids' toys from Cars . -a physical therapist (who I think has a masters') who helped the kids with reading -many athlet...

The Best Mistake

I recently wanted to get a pedicure (I promise this will be important) and was looking at nail salons nearby. I knew there was a place called Kim's Nails near my exercise class, so I quickly googled to see if I could make an appointment online (I hate calling on the phone) and it let me, so I made an appointment for a few days later and went on with my day. Later that day, I got a text confirming my appointment and I realized that I had made the appointment at the wrong Kim's Nails! I meant to make an appointment for the one in my city and I made one at a nail shop in the next city over (Kim's Nails is a common business name). Because I had already made the appointment and they had taken the time to text me, I figured I'd just go with it. OK, if you're still with me, this is where it gets exciting! A few hours after I got the confirmation text, the owner of Kim's Nails texted me again. the text just said, "Are you a teacher?" I didn't know why they...

A New Prison, Part Two

Second very long part of the prison visit report. After we got all the paperwork filled out and went through the metal detector, we got visitation slips with the name of the inmate, and made our way over to the other building for visitation. This is not maximum security so thankfully you can just sit next to the inmates, and not be separated by glass or have to use a telephone to talk. First, you get a gate unlocked and go into a holding pen that is of course in direct sunlight (or rain if it's that season) and surrounded by fences topped with razor wire. You wait there until the gate at the other end is unlocked. This holding pen was a little bigger and less claustrophobic than the other prison (I do not have any claustrophobia and I came very close to a panic attack once at the other place) and they opened the other gate more quickly. Then you walk, again in blazing sunlight (or rain) to the visitation building. This one was less of a walk than the other pri...

Bronwyn Harris, Author

Search This Blog