Bronwyn Harris, Author

I was working on my computer today when I got a facebook post from a friend and former co-worker:     "Hey, I am watching this special on PBS hosted by Tavis Smiley. He is at the Alameda Youth Jail and I think I just saw Fred. I don't remember his last name but I knew him as soon as I saw him. He had the scar on his forehead. Isn't that your old student. They said he was 18. Does that add up" Yes.  yes, it does add up.  Fred (not his real name) was a kid in my first and third grade classes, in 2000 (I came in January and they had had 6 substitutes before then) and then 2001-2002.  He was famous at our school, not least because he was expelled in second grade for hitting a teacher or something like that - I honestly don't remember.  He was brought back for third grade and I requested him again.  He was one of those kids who caused trouble everywhere he went and was so angry that it was just coming out of his pores, even when he was six. ...

A lot of kids get killed in Oakland.  I've known one of them personally (he was 13) but there have been many, many more.  Some are in gangs or involved with drugs, and others are actually just in the wrong place. I've noticed two things about these news stories. 1. People really really seem to want to blame the victim.  I suspect this is because they're scared.  If This Other Kid got killed and he wasn't doing anything wrong, then their own children are in danger.  But if This Other Kid was to blame, then our own children are safe. 2. It's much much easier to ignore these stories.  We all feel helpless and a bit hopeless about it.  If there's nothing we can do, why bother to talk about it.  It'll just make us feel worse. I try to remember these kids in this blog because - even though I feel scared and hopeless - they deserve to be remembered and acknowledged.  Ditiyan Franklin was killed in the middle of the day , two weeks before g...

This is a tiny bit cheating.  I realized that what I was about to write was already covered in two posts from five years ago, so I'm just going to copy and paste.  I hope you enjoy. I really, really, can't overemphasize how important this is, not just for individual kids but for (and this sounds dramatic) the future of our society.  Really. Saturday, March 18, 2006 Needing To Be Wanted I was watching Law and Order SVU (or more accurately, I was in the room while Law and Order was being watched and trying to ignore it), and one of the characters was a brutal murderous member of some horrible prison gang who showed no remorse for anything he had done and continued to make threats to kill people. Anyway, I was trying to not watch that and the realization came to me suddenly: This man was a little kid once - innocent and lovable - and this is how he's turned out. (Yes, I realize Law and Order is fiction, but unfortunately there are an infinite number of re...

You'd think that a list of good things about someone would make them happy.  Not so for the two students that I helped make these lists.  One was this child , who really truly hated himself.  The other was the student at the end of this post who says he's going to kill his father if he ever gets out of jail.  This child, "Fred," was something special. Fred was so angry that it almost gave him superhuman strength.  He was a small second grader when he was terrorizing fifth graders.  I had him in first and third grades and apparently I did something right because he would seek me out when he was angry.  He would clench his fists, turn bright red, breath hard, and say "You've got to calm me down.  You're the only one who can calm me down."  He would lose control of his body and flail around.  He usually didn't care who got in his way, but there was one instance that scared him.  He was flailing his body like usual and he knocked me ...

Today, I have a sad story to share.  I've been meaning to share this story for four years but at the same time, I haven't wanted to think about it.  This is the story of a child who is considered by many to be unreachable.  I really don't believe it is too late - I don't believe it's ever too late - but many people do. "TJ" was a child with many, many problems.  I got to know his mom pretty well.  She was a single mom and I never heard a word about his dad.  I'm not sure if he was just out of the picture or if TJ even knew who his dad was.  (I've had plenty of kids where the blank for "father" on their birth certificate just says "unknown."  Others just have a first name because the last name is unknown.) TJ's mom often alluded to a former drug problem.  She was in her mid-20s and had two kids at home and was also taking care of a sick mother and a bipolar developmentally delayed brother.  She was understandably overwhel...

My Little Sister (from Big Brothers Big Sisters) and I went to get our nails done yesterday.  She clearly got the better artist and is very happy with her flower and glitter.  Every time I hang out with her, I am amazed by how much she trusts me.  She's seven years old and has had many, many adults let her down, and yet she is completely trusting in someone she's known for all of two months and seen maybe six times.  She climbs up into my lap, holds my hand, hangs onto me in the swimming pool, and jumps up on me if a strange dog comes near her.  There's no hesitation at all. I've talked before about how I believe that all these kids are ours .  I don't have children of my own, but I have all the kids I've ever worked with .  When I say that, I often get the response, "Oh, wait until you have kids of your own - it's totally different."  And I'm sure it is, in many ways.  I don't have full-time responsibility for any of these kids (althoug...

My Christmas was pleasant but fairly uneventful, except for one thirty-minute period. That period of time probably would have seemed uneventful to most people but to me, it was a beautiful Christmas miracle. The kids that my friend and I work with, who have had such a hard , hard year, have been sort of MIA for the last few weeks. We've tried to take them out to eat and set up the times, only to have them flake. One of them changed his cell phone number so he was impossible to get ahold of.  And rude when we did get ahold of him. The other only answered when he wanted. They go through this sometimes, so I didn't think much of it, except to be a little annoyed when I drove across town to get them and they weren't there.  I have no idea if they're going to school or really anything else about what's going on right now.  I'm pretty constantly worried about them but try not to because there's nothing I can do. We thought for a while about what to get th...

This guest blog is written by my friend "Walter" (he chose the pseudonym, not me!) who has been involved with the two boys I've been writing about for several years now. I have known the boys for four years now. I met them through the author of this blog when we took them to the Exploratorium one da y - that was the first time I had ever met them. The kids were very polite and very cautious at first. They didn't go far from us and watched us the whole time until we got to the Exploratorium and they started running around and playing with stuff. Then they started to loosen up and have fun. By the end of the day that first day, they were smiling and having fun; getting to be kids. It was really neat to see them getting to be children. I was hooked. I said, "OK, we need to do this again. You guys had a good time, I had fun." Once they got to put off the hard exterior and be kids, I really loved who they were and that they got to be children. I wante...

I'm hoping by writing this post, I'll be able to sleep tonight instead of staying awake worrying, which is what I do. I'm worried about this family that I'm working with. The mom is doing so well - she's doing so much work (that is overdue, but better late than never) on repairing her relationship with her oldest child now living with her and on taking steps to get her papers to be legal in the US, to try and work out her kids' welfare benefits, to get her children's health and education taken care of, everything. And it's so much work. She wants to work (she cleans houses) and can't find any work. None. I've tried and continue to try (she's a really good housecleaner!) but no one's paying for that right now. The promised welfare benefits are not coming and the social worker will not return calls. We've enlisted the help of a welfare lawyer, but that's going to take time. And time is what this family does not have right...

I had a lovely birthday dinner/dessert celebration tonight (birthday's on Monday) and was about ready to go to bed when I got a call. The 14 year old kid of the family I've been working with has been arrested. For drinking and driving. At age 14. (Barely). His mom is, understandably, freaking out. She's been working as hard as she can to keep the family together. They have nowhere to live after August 31 and no money to find somewhere. She doesn't have a bank account or credit history so most places wouldn't rent to her even if she did have the money. She's a recovering addict trying to stay clean through both of her boys watching their friend be murdered, be in danger themselves, have to relocate, and deal with the anger/fear/guilt that comes from seeing a friend be killed. Now her oldest one is in bigger trouble. I'm so angry at him, because he knows better. He took the car keys when she was sleeping and went with his cousin who was staying with ...

The family has found an apartment! This may be only for a couple of months - it's a little more than they can afford and the DA's office only pays for the first month and the deposit. But they really like it, so I'm hoping they can work out how to pay for it. It's a two bedroom, and before this, they were in a studio, so that is awesome. The landlord is being very helpful and it seems to be a great situation. Thank you all for your prayers, financial help, good wishes... everything. Soon the family will have to move on to the grieving process. Right now we're just seeing it in crazy emotional outbursts over seemingly little things. The little one is prone to temper tantrums anyway, but he's way worse, and I don't blame him. At the same time, he can't do things like hang up on his teacher and yell at his mom. Both boys say they're dead set against counseling but I'm hoping they get used to the idea.

I'm very tired so this won't be too detailed but a lot of people are helping and I want to keep them updated. The apartment in Alameda fell through. They need (as most landlords do) a credit check and "Rosa" is not in the country legally (although all of her children are citizens). We're having trouble finding a landlord who will rent to someone without a credit score, even if she has the money. However, Catholic Charities is totally stepping up. They sent a social worker to get Rosa through the Welfare office crazy red tape in record time, and she should start receiving food stamps and other aid for the kids (not for her, because she's not legal) on Thursday. Once she has this help, the social worker thinks it will be easier to find a landlord, because she'll have some sort of documented income. In addition, people from all over - from my church, my family, my friends, old co-workers, friends of friends, friends' parents, Warren (the kids "Bi...

The witness family has been promised some, but not enough money from the DA's office. If anyone is reacting with "Why are my tax dollars paying for this?" or "Why does the DA's office have responsibility to do this?" (which I hope they are not,) keep in mind that the reason they are in danger is because of the brilliant brilliant police of this fair city, which are fully living up (or down) to their reputation. The reasons the kids are in danger are: 1. The police didn't do anything when the kids' mom called six months ago because one of the suspects in Joshua's killing was threatening her son with a gun. They came to the house and told her "If no one is dead, we can't do anything." Interesting. Now someone is dead. Really? We had to wait for that? 2. After the shooting, the police took the witnesses down the street and had them point out the house where the suspects lived. The whole family (of the suspects) saw exactly who...

OK, it's been a little crazy. The electricity went out in the Internet closet (twice) and then when I was connected in DFW (great wireless connection), my gate got changed twice so I spent the whole layover running from Terminal C to Terminal D and back to Terminal C, and then to Terminal D again. Fun. To continue. Roberto ran away from the abusive uncle and ended up helping package drugs and selling pornography on the street . Somehow, Sara (the orphanage director) found out about this 10-year old kid and brought him back to the orphanage. He started first grade at age 10 and, although school has never been easy for him, worked as hard as he could and consistently got excellent grades. He made it through primary and secondary school, graduated from high school (the picture in the pink shirt) and is now attending a technical college. He wanted to work in addition to help pay his way (he's now 22), so got a job as a mechanic's assistant. Within three weeks, his work w...

I am in an Internet cafe (that´s what they call it, but there´s nothing at all resembling a cafe; it´s more like an Internet closet) in Reynosa, Mexico. Before you all get excited and jealous and picture me lying on the beach drinking margaritas, let me tell you that Reynosa, Mexico is a border town, just south of McAllen and Hidalgo, Texas. I looked it up in the Lonely Planet Mexico once and the only thing it had to say about this town of something like two million people was that it is ugly (think petrochemical refineries), and that there is nothing for tourists to do. It went on to mention that the only Americans who usually come to Reynosa are Texans looking for cheap prostitutes or prescription medication without a prescription. I am here to visit my Mexican family, who run an orphanage. We call it an orphanage in English, but that´s a misnomer - it´s more of a group home. The Spanish name is casa-hogar , which literally means "house-home," and there are 40 kids ranging...

In college, someone asked me - with much sincerity - how I could be a Christian and vote against Proposition 187 . For those of you who may not have been in California or paying attention at the time, Prop 187 was an initiative that was meant to deny social services, health care, and public education to illegal immigrants. Health care workers and teachers were also supposed to report suspected illegal immigrants, I believe. The proposition passed, but was later overturned by a federal court. Aside from the disturbing consequences that might come from having the illegal portion of our population denied vaccinations and education (anyone really think that's going to help us out as a state? Whether or not you agree with undocumented workers being here, I would think we'd all want to make sure their children didn't get polio, even if it's only for the selfish reason that we don't want another polio epidemic!), I was confused about the assumption that Jesus would o...

Stephanie 's dad called me yesterday to let me know that she got a 4.0 in her first trimester of 7th grade and to thank everyone who is helping her get to the leadership forum in Europe by donating... specific thanks to Doug, Lindsay, Chris, Lynn, Carrie & Jason, Laura, and Alex (and some others who wish to remain anonymous. You guys are awesome and every little bit helps! This is a girl who will NOT waste the experience - she's amazing. One person expressed concern that the organization does not set up an easy tax-deductible way to fundraise - I think, honestly, it's because most of the kids don't have to raise funds. I think the fast majority of them just have their parents write a $4500 check and they're off. Stephanie's dad is taking extra fights (professional boxer) and working tons of extra shifts to try to pay for this, which is why I'm trying to get people to help. If you are someone who has always wanted to help public education and doesn...

I've had a week off and it's only today - NINE DAYS INTO VACATION - that I am not tired. I am finally not tired. It took me this long to decompress and recover from teaching these wonderful kids. And now I have to go back to work tomorrow. Pray for me.

...The more they stay the same. I found this email that I wrote to some close friends back in September 2003. I'm happy to say that things have gotten a little better. A very little. A very very little. And actually, now that I think about it, what's gotten better is mostly that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I haven't been killed yet! (Actually, we do have some school counselors. That's an improvement! Anyway, on to the email.) School is so hard. There are so many problems... injustices really, that I can't deal with. Some are so little and would seem silly if they didn't add up... not having enough pencils, no scissors, no time to get ready in my room, etc. Some are bigger - how we don't have a PTA so the other schools in the district have so much more than we do. How we get less money from the district because our parents don't fight for it. How we have no support for all the drug babies and kids who are scarred by violence or who h...

That was how "Lamar" in my class started a letter. He had asked me if he could write a letter because he was done with his work early (he's ALWAYS done with his work early and always understands it - I need to think of some seriously challenging research projects for this child). It's so matter-of-fact for most of these kids - many, many of them have had or currently have a parent in jail. If not a parent, they're almost guaranteed to have had an older brother, cousin, or uncle in jail. Dads are more likely than moms to be incarcerated, but I'm meeting more and more kids who have moms in jail. (or prison - they just call any kind of incarcerated "being in jail"). I am not sure why it is - part of it (I think) is the epidemic of being fatherless. There are some incredible mothers out there raising sons by themselves, but somehow, when the sons have no father figure, they often get lost. Daughters too - I see girls (starting in kindergarten!) trying to...