Unconventional Motivation

I saw this story about a parent who basically humiliated her child into doing better in school. I think before I started teaching, I would have been firmly against this sort of tactic. However, that was before I realized that doing well in school or not could literally be a matter of life or death in the future - or at least a matter of a life of freedom or behind bars. If I hadn't done well in school, I probably would have gone to a community college instead of a four-year college. The culture of my family and friends was such that I would have made those choices. Many of the kids I have taught have never been around that culture, and dropping out of high school or not doing well would mean they didn't have other options - at least, not other legal options. That's obviously a generalization, but I really can't blame this mother for feeling desperate.

The blogger says: "I'm guessing standing on the corner for four hours with a sign soliciting your embarrassment at 15-years-old, is much better than the embarrassment of picking up trash in public while wearing prison gear when you're older."

Many of the commenters wonder if the reaction would have been the same if the family were white. It's also interesting to think about considering the "Tiger Mom" who's been in the news lately with what she calls Chinese Mothering.

I heard one mother express this kind of frustration to a child once. The kid's grandmother (father's mother) was the matriarch of a large crack house and the kid was fooling around in school and in danger of not passing. His mother said to him, very seriously, "If I see you going down that path, I will kill you myself rather than see you go into that kind of hell."

The kid shaped up.

One year ago: First day of school

Three years ago: Teacher Salaries
                          The Subbing Conspiracy

Four years ago: Observations and Being Nice
                        Things I Won't Miss About School

Five years ago: A Kids' Eye View of the Neighborhood
                        I've Made It!

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A Loss

(I have been putting off finishing this blog post for months. You'll see why) Today, I was cleaning a bookshelf and I found the journal from one of my third-grade students, who I call Fred in my book , in 2001. I still had it because he didn't come to the last day of school to get his stuff this year and I guess it got put in a pile and somehow I've kept it with me. He didn't come to the last day of school, probably because his family was a mess: dad in prison, mom in an abusive relationship, all the kids (understandably) acting out violently. Fred was expelled from our school in second grade for hitting a teacher. Then he was expelled from the other school, I don't know why, at the end of second grade. He came back on the condition from the administration that he be in my class because I had him as a student in first grade and he listened to me and worked well with me. We had a really good relationship, although Fred was definitely not easy to have in class....

A New Prison, Part Two

Second very long part of the prison visit report. After we got all the paperwork filled out and went through the metal detector, we got visitation slips with the name of the inmate, and made our way over to the other building for visitation. This is not maximum security so thankfully you can just sit next to the inmates, and not be separated by glass or have to use a telephone to talk. First, you get a gate unlocked and go into a holding pen that is of course in direct sunlight (or rain if it's that season) and surrounded by fences topped with razor wire. You wait there until the gate at the other end is unlocked. This holding pen was a little bigger and less claustrophobic than the other prison (I do not have any claustrophobia and I came very close to a panic attack once at the other place) and they opened the other gate more quickly. Then you walk, again in blazing sunlight (or rain) to the visitation building. This one was less of a walk than the other pri...

A New Prison, Part 1

My former student, friend, and co-author was moved to a new prison during COVID. We (myself, Mitali, and his Abuela) have visited a couple of times via the video visit functionality they set up, but we've also been trying to visit in person, ever since in-person visits were allowed again. After four of them being canceled (sometimes we were told why, sometimes not), we finally got a visit. I was super nervous about this visit. (I felt better when Mitali mentioned that she was also, because she is an inherently positive and optimistic person!) I am not proud of this, but there was a large part of me that was hoping that the visit would be canceled, just like the previous four were. I felt a little better when someone I know messaged me privately to tell me that they had had very good experiences visiting a family member in that prison. But I still didn't sleep well at all that night, worrying about the guards, the many things that could go wrong, and the projected 111-degree hea...

Bronwyn Harris, Author

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