Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It Brook My Heart

"Amani" came to school today in an even more belligerent mood than normal. I asked what was wrong and she said that it was all my fault, I just hate her and there's nothing she can do right. I'm out to get her.

OK. Deep breath. "Amani, what's really the matter?"

"You never listen to me, you hate me, you like everyone else better than me."

One more time. "Sweetheart, what's bothering you?"

She comes back with a note: "My mom told me that most of the time she don't even wanna be here with me and it brook my heart."

It brook my heart too. Her mom's overwhelmed, she's taking it out on her, but Amani doesn't know that. She idolizes her mom. She doesn't know how hard it is to be a single mom and how her mom's reacting (badly) to stress. And there's nothing I can say to make it better. No wonder she acts crazy. Negative attention is better than none.


someone who cares about education said...

I'm glad she has you in her life. You understand her, and you understand her mom.

It takes many adults to cheer and comfort and support a child's developmental growth.

Sometimes moms don't have the tools to parent well, even when they love their children so much.

Sometimes the mom's need support from the community, too, and you support the family with your understanding.

They are blessed.

julie said...

I worked with a mom last week who asked me if she should go away for a few days, and make her (developmentally delayed) 11-year-old son think she had left him, so that when she came back he would realize she was serious about him needing to "be better." And today, a 14-year-old tough guy who's a stone's throw away from flunking out of school and being a drug-addicted gang member, who cried while he talked about the fact that his dad doesn't play soccer with him anymore.

I'm glad your heart is brooked over this stuff.