Thursday, February 15, 2007

A Year Off

I need about a month of this before I am going to feel un-tired again.
During Christmas vacation, it wasn't until the last Sunday of the two weeks that I began to feel rested. And I had to go to school the next day.


I have applied for a leave of absence for next year. I am exhausted. And it's mostly not because of the kids.

I am tired of the crazy amounts of paperwork we have to do. I am tired of the ludicrous testing that requires me to do so much more paperwork, as well as making the kids cry because they think they're not smart enough. I'm tired of being given a 30 minute lunch and being told that's enough time for me to walk the kids to lunch, go to the bathroom, eat lunch, and prepare for after lunch. I am tired of sending kids to the office after I have exhausted every possible disciplinary action in the classroom only to have them sent back because there's no one to deal with them (we have THREE administrators; most schools our size have one, maybe two.) I am tired of meetings that are designed more to fill up our time than get anything useful done. I am tired of spending thousands of dollars of my own money each year on supplies and trips that the school should be paying for.

I'm tired of the inequity - I'm tired of my kids being considered less valuable than white kids in the hills. No one will say that, of course, but there wouldn't be this much inequity if it weren't true.

I'm just tired.

I hate to leave the kids; I feel like I'm giving up on them. But I can't continue this way, so I'm taking a year off. After that, we'll see what happens. I have editing work I'm doing, and I might sub at my school to keep in touch with the kids and earn a little money. If anyone else knows some good ways to make money (I would love to publish this blog as a book somehow - more to let people know what real life in public schools is like than to make money, although making money would be nice!)

Either way, I'll be keeping up the blog, so please keep reading!


pear said...

Remember in the airplane when the oxygen masks drop? You're supposed to put yours on 1st ...then you can help others. But if you arent' getting your oxygen, you can't help anybody else.

sabatical? good idea
The King Pear of napping says so

Cool hammock photo.

Warren said...

I am SO in favor of you taking a year off. I see you ever day, struggling to squeeze another drop of energy out of a body that simply doesn't have anything left to give. I know your spirit is willing, and you are just beside yourself with worrying about what will happen to the kids when you are gone, but. It's time to take a break and take care of yourself.
I love you.